Taken with instagram
We have to take risks.
We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.
Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy.
Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant.
“Death ended nothing; it opened up limitless adventures. A drop of water becomes vapor, which is invisible, yet vapor materializes into billowing clouds, and from clouds rain falls back to earth, forming river torrents and eventually merging into the sea. Has the drop of water died along the way? No, it undergoes a new expression at each stage. Likewise, the idea that I have a fixed body locked in space and time is a mirage. Any drop of water inside my body could have been ocean, cloud, river, or spring the day before.” —
(Source: The Huffington Post)
Fear -
Fear, thus, is just a manifestation of your imagination ruled by cowardliness. When we get certain information on our fears, we get relaxed. However, it’s not going to be possible that we will always get the information on the unknown. Then what can we really do to manage our fears?
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2012/05/15/fear-and-panic/
(Source: ladyatheist, via pmors)
“When people say “you’re being too sensitive,” they’re only saying that because you’re threatening their power. it’s another way to invalidate your pain, avoid accountability, and control you. it’s the tone argument….in which someone doesn’t care about what you’re saying simply because you’re not saying it in a nice polite tone with a cherry on top. this is why it’s funny to me that it comes down to “being too sensitive”…because I think it’s the other person that’s being too sensitive when they require the most peaceful tone when being told they’re doing something wrong.” — my sister
“Cognitive dissonance is a discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions (e.g., ideas, beliefs, values, emotional reactions) simultaneously. In a state of dissonance, people may feel surprise, dread, guilt, anger, or embarrassment. The theory of cognitive dissonance in social psychology proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by altering existing cognitions, adding new ones to create a consistent belief system, or alternatively by reducing the importance of any one of the dissonant elements.” — Cognitive Dissonance
(Source: sonofbaldwin, via pmors)
“
Let’s examine this:
Miss is a word for a woman that has not been married.
Mrs. is an abbreviation of the word Mistress, used as a title for a woman that is married or widowed.
Ms. is a title used for a woman whose marital status is unknown or irrelevant (as in business).
The letters Ms. are not an abbreviation of a word, they are an amalgamation drawn from the letters of Miss and Mrs.
On the other hand, a man is just a mister (Mr.)
You see men don’t have to determine their sexual availability like women.
” —Laila Alsabahi
(It pisses me off endlessly when this is a required box I have to check when filling out things like job applications.)
(Source: faineemae, via pmors)
Oversharing and Overblogging -
I love this post.
Not too long ago I blogged about privacy and our obsession with trying to paint the perfect picture of oneself in the cyber world.
What did you do today? What’s on your mind? Share with the world. I share therefore I am (or at least prove I was there.)
We are now in a point of time where I can learn everything about someone I have never met by visiting their various online presences. I can immediately pick out their…
I wrote this in February while I was in NYC. I was there once again two weeks ago!
It’s my last day in NYC. As a take a break from all the walking and exploring of the city (and as I eat the delicious fruit I got from the market down the street) to reflect on the last few days, I realized that I have fallen in love with this city. I don’t even know how it happened, but I remember my first visit back in 2008. I was so resistant to liking NYC; maybe because of the NYC vs. Chicago rivalry for the title of greatest city that may or may not exist…..in my head.
This time, I made the time to explore neighborhoods I hadn’t been to yet; the so called “ethnic’ neighborhoods. I had been warned that it might be difficult to catch a cab that would want to drive down to east Flatbush and indeed it was. The driver had no idea how to get down there from LaGuardia Airport so I had to bring up the GPS on my phone and give him directions…..me! the tourist! Oh yeah, and then he complained because I wasn’t going to Manhattan.
I noticed the difference block by block as soon as we got off the 278. The closer we got to Flatbush, the more colorful the streets became. From what I learned, Flatbush has been receiving an influx of immigrants from the Caribbean. I decided to take a walk to Prospect Park after I got done with breakfast. I noticed a sense of community right away. The streets were pretty busy with people from all ages making their way through to catch the bus or perhaps meet up with someone; maybe they were even late for work or school. There were also the older women with their little shopping carts and grocery bags packed with fresh produce. People greeted each other and it made me smile. Um? New Yorkers!! I had no idea this happened here! They say as you go east people become less and less friendlier. I guess it really depends in which part of town you’re in.
That day, I lost count after the 30th time I was called beautiful or gorgeous….or given other random compliment. Every single time, I kept walking and I just smiled. I accepted them regardless of their intentions. I thought to myself, just smile this time instead of giving them your automatic reaction which is to roll your eyes. Why is this? I think this is partly due to my experience with our American culture where it seems like the only type of compliments we get are backhanded compliments….or when people are just fishing for them….or when only your possessions get compliments.
…but going back, these compliments felt genuine. I didn’t feel like there was anything expected of me. They came off as normal as saying a simple hi. I must say, it was very overwhelming. I’m talking about hearing those words at least 15 times as I walked the 3 blocks to the 2. Other people working the markets or other small business on the streets greeted me with a smile every day. I feel like I’m going to miss them and I only saw them twice a day and we only exchanged a smile and a hi.
Once I got to Manhattan, well, that’s a whole different story. That’s the New York most outsiders hear about. The main difference I found was how everyone seems to be rushing and in their own little world. Back in Flatbush, it felt more laid back and there were plenty of times I caught myself walking at my normal pace but feeling like I was running compared to those around me. I also didn’t get a sense of community. No “Hi”s. No smiles. No compliments. I felt like I didn’t even exist.
So is this a culture thing? I wondered. We know you can find just about any culture in the world in this great city. I recalled how this was a normal thing growing up in the African American and Puerto Rican neighborhoods in Chicago. For whatever reason, compliments make me uncomfortable…or did.
Just two days ago, as I walked the streets of Manhattan, I ran into some very good looking people. I wondered what kind of reaction I would get if I said these things out loud. To call some random person on the street beautiful as you walk by them might come off as creepy.
It is truly a beautiful thing to be able to let someone know how gorgeous you think they are without making the other person feel like you’re trying to get in their pants or without them making you feel like you’re the biggest perv/creep/freak in the world.
Another thing that comes to mind is the way we greet each other. On my first visit to NYC, a friend introduced me to her friends, all from South American. As soon as I was introduced, I was pulled towards them and was given the double kiss. I was taken aback. I was NOT expecting that at all! I know it’s a normal thing in some cultures, but as a Chicagoan, it’s not something I do.
I wish American culture was more open to compliments (and I mean person-to-person and not person-to-material things)….. and the double kiss :-D
[video]
“arbitrary” —
I have been thinking a lot about what privacy means to me….and others. I have been trying to write on this for a while now, but every time I start I go into a million different places. I’m going to focus on privacy specifically when it comes to individual stories; our personal lives.
Certain types of information makes us very uncomfortable so we make the decision that it should be kept private, even if it’s not OUR information. We make this decision for others and then we judge.
I think it’s the problem that comes up when someone tells you what YOUR privacy should consist of vs. you telling yourself the same thing. Somewhere along the line, that shift in power happened…and we’re no longer in control of our own definition of privacy; everyone else is.
Yes! I am no longer in control of what my own privacy is.
As I write this, I recall a few times when I read something one of my friends posted and my immediate reaction was to say: why is this person sharing this? or I can’t believe this person is sharing this? Then came the feeling of annoyance because someone was sharing “too much” or complaining too much about the same thing over and over again.
Why are people afraid of putting their feelings on display? Even worse, why are people afraid of others who put their feelings on display? Maybe afraid is not the right word for the latter. Annoyed?
I’ve heard so many of my Facebook friends complain about how depressing their Facebook feeds are. I myself have complained about some and have even hidden a couple. What a selfish move!! Instead of being a bit more sympathetic with our friends and perhaps even giving them a call to see how they are doing, we hide them, delete them, and even block them! We just can’t be bothered. We have too many problems of our own.
Have we lost all sense of sympathy? Patience? When did we become so indifferent to our fellow human beings? Why does it annoy us so much?
We’re so self-centered that we can’t be bothered with self-centered people who “over-share”. Ha!
I don’t blame you. There are even studies that say that people lose followers when their posts are not happy posts!!
Whoa!
…but I wonder, if the same people came to us in real life and said the same thing that they post online, how would we react? It’s so much easier in the cyber world, isn’t?
I’m not sure when the shift happened or what triggered it, but about 6 months ago, I started questioning my reaction to information over-sharing. I realized that most of it came from my own issues with sharing and privacy.
So I started an experiment. I began sharing more; a lot more. Anything from the random thought that popped in my mind, to where I was having coffee, to my most intimate fears and things I was dealing with in my relationship; pretty much anything that made me uncomfortable sharing.
I re-trained myself.
I did not care what others thought or how uncomfortable it made them. It was very interesting to see the different responses I received. Some of my friends thanked me for sharing. Others called me brave. I’m sure a few hid me from their feeds…and then there were those who judged me.
It’s a work in progress. I still sometimes think twice about posting something, but only after I have a conversation with someone about this or when someone makes a comment about how much I share. Are people going to judge me? Is this going to annoy someone? Why should I only share with my friends only the pretty side of me?! The things that make me happy? What is the obsession on trying to paint a perfect picture of oneself in the cyber world?!
I realized that most people have a divide between their real world and their cyber world. Not for me. Who I am in real life is who I am in the cyber world aka my Facebook page…even here on tumblr. So it was really interesting to see how something I started in the cyber world also became part of my real world. That’s the greatest outcome of this experiment. I’m more open with the people around me. Specially with my family and closest friends. I’m not only sharing online, it’s happening in real life too. Not only that, I now wonder where a FB friend is coming from when I can read their frustration or sadness on one of their posts, instead of getting annoyed or ignoring it. It has changed so many things about myself. I have even become more social.
When you get rid of the fear of being judged, it’s amazing to see how all of your potential manifests itself in everything you do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have more thoughts on this. These are some of the questions that have been playing in my head.
What roles does Privacy play when it comes to victims of any form of violence and their stories? In a society where the term information overload and over-sharing is becoming more and more popular, how do we know what’s acceptable to share? When we’re criticized for complaining about anything and we are hidden, deleted, and even blocked for sharing a bit too much, how are we supposed to feel comfortable speaking up?
I’ll probably write a part 2 on this.
Sharing your story is a revolutionary act!
“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” — Mother Teresa